My Testimony is His Faithfulness

 Psalm 119:90: “Your faithfulness continues through all generations…”

“Time and time again, You’ve proven You’ll do just what you said. Great is Your faithfulness to me.” –Maverick City Music “Promises”

The other day I was listening to “Promises” by Maverick City Music and told my friend, “That’s my testimony. God is faithful.” Of course, there’s a lot of complexity, depth and breadth to my spiritual journey and my relationship with the Lord. But ultimately, if I had to sum up my beliefs, my experience, and my relationship to the Lord in one sentence, that’s it: “Great is Your faithfulness to me.”

Both Old Testament and New Testament passages in the Bible extol the enduring faithfulness of God in general terms which apply to all believers. And I believe those statements to be true. But my testimony, my witness to His truth, is that He is personally faithful to me. The lyrics of “Promises” proclaim that “Your faithfulness, it never runs out. I put my faith in Jesus, my anchor to the ground, my hope and firm foundation, He’ll never let me down.”

And He hasn’t. He protected me when I nearly drowned, when I fell headfirst out of a car, when I swerved on a busy interstate and spun-out into the median. He’s provided work when I had none. He’s stretched my finances so that I have never missed a bill. He’s brought me prayer partners to encourage, comfort, and strengthen me. He’s comforted me when I’ve lost loved ones. He’s given me strength and courage when I’ve faced all sorts of challenges. I may not always understand His will or His ways, but I can always trust His faithfulness.

Checked Off and Checked Out

 “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord…”  -Colossians 3:23

I’m not really sure when I began making to-do lists. Junior high? High school? Birth? Order has always been paramount to me and making lists helps me organize my time, my life, my goals. I get a sense of satisfaction when I draw a line through an item or put a check mark, sometimes with a flourish, in front of a task. But I recently discovered there’s a dark side to all this list making and marking.

It happened a few weeks ago as I multi-tasked my way through the end of the day, and silently tossed up a prayer in response to a friend’s request. While still heartfelt, the communication felt a little perfunctory. It happened a few other times with prayers and also with exercise which I normally really enjoy. I realized I was just going through the motions, completely disengaged from some important things in my life. Somehow life had been reduced into a series of tasks to be accomplished and I was mindlessly attempting to finish them in order to move on to the “next thing.”

I wish I could say that since that epiphany I have changed and am now intentional about each of my prayers and all of my words and actions. That would just be a lie. Sometimes I am still checked out as I check off my lists. But I am trying daily to be more present in my own life, more aware of the inner narrative that is subtly and profoundly impacting my life and the lives of those I care about. And I’m drawing close again to the One who made me, understands me, and loves me whether I mark off all the tasks on my list or not.

Sparrows

The January morning started out cold and drizzly and bleak. But to me, it was a beautiful day. It was just days before my birthday, a time which brings up all sorts of wonderful memories—many of which occurred on similarly bleak winter days. On this particular frigid Monday, I was in the middle of praying when God prompted me to look out the window at a cluster of leafless trees, diamond-like raindrops clinging to their spikey gray branches. A sudden quick movement among the bare limbs caught my eye, and I realized there was a tiny gray and brown bird flitting around in the treetop. I don’t really know what species the bird belonged to, but I imagined it was a sparrow. And I was filled with peace as I watched it dart from one branch to another, scrounging for food. The bird was simply being a bird, oblivious to the cold and rain and the pandemic that has bound us all in fear for nearly a year.

I smiled, thinking of the Bible verses about sparrows. Matthew 10: 29-31 says: “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” The moment was a culmination of weeks of God bringing to mind sparrows. A friend had sent me a link to a video of Audrey Assad’s song “Sparrows” which is based on the classic gospel hymn “His Eye is on the Sparrow.” Cory Asbury’s “Sparrows” was another song God had been using to direct my focus to the deep love and concern expressed in the verses in Matthew. The chorus of his song says:

“You take good care of me.

You know what I need before I even ask a thing.

You hold me in Your hands with a kindness that never ends.

I’m carried in Your love no matter what the future brings.”

I’m grateful not only for these songs which have encouraged me, but especially for the little bird God sent as a tangible reminder of His presence and His provision. I will never cease to be amazed at a love the depths of which I will never truly comprehend.